How does your wife compete with the other woman when the other woman is your mother? She can’t nor should she have to. A mother has her place and a wife has her place. The two positions are distinctly different and should complement one another not compete. Fellas, you set the tone for this relationship between two very important women in your life. It’s not your sole responsibility but you play a part in ending the mother-in-law drama.
Your wife should not feel as if she comes in a close second. Allow your wife to have her position and your mother to have hers. Your mother cannot be your wife and your wife cannot be your mother. When you married you said, “I do” to leaving mama ‘nem and placing your bride first.
Single men take note.
If you are not ready to do this you are not ready for marriage. In the castle called your home there is only room for one king and one queen. If this seems like a small deal to you but a big deal to your wife, trust me on this one – it’s a big deal.
Order has to be established.
If there is a track record of placing mom before your wife, she may try for a little while to compete for her rightful position. But that will soon fade and turn into resentment and frustration. You don’t want her rightful desire to be the queen of her castle to wane into finding another castle to go play house in.
Your marriage is a beautiful thing.
There will be times when you have to tell mama no or I’ll catch you next time because my queen has other plans. There will be times when you have to tell mama no simply because your queen just wants to be with you. Competing for your time, your attention, your affection, places two of the most valuable women in your life against one another. Perhaps you have not been aware of this. Now you know. Respect both your mother and your wife and make the proper space in your life for each one.
Your wife is strong in her own right.
Don’t mistake her frustration as whining or needing attention. You know your wife. You know your actions. You know your situation. Now be honest with yourself. Do you need some improvement in this area? Turn the tables and think if she placed someone before you, what would that do to you?
My encouragement to you is to think about what it takes to keep your home happy. Your wife understands how valuable your mother is to you. Don’t pin them against one another with actions that have not been well thought through. Many times our actions can be on autopilot and it’s not until a focused look is taken that you realize some things need to be changed. If needed, sit down and have a talk with mama so that she understands you love her no less, but there is a new woman in your life and she is called your wife.
How can she compete with the other woman when the other woman is your mother? She can’t nor should she have to. Your mother raised you, that job is done. Honor mother and respect the one you come home to every night. Help to end mother-in-law issues by fixing the husband and wife issues.